Dana Colomina

The more I grow up, the more I notice that people get bogged down by what society tells them they should be doing or what is simply comfortable. While I am just as susceptible to societal pressures as anyone else, I prioritize doing interesting things in my life for my enrichment. Isn’t the point of living to do cool things and test your intellectual bounds? Chasing my curiosity is the most effective way I have found to achieve this purpose, so far.

The biggest change I’ve made in my life so far was moving to Amsterdam in 2023. The only way I can describe the process of deciding to move is: it sounded fun to move to Amsterdam, I then became obsessed with the idea of moving, and then I did not allow myself to retract the idea because I would have felt like a massive failure. 

Despite my anxious tendencies and fear of failing, my brain extends the courtesy of parking any anxieties in the corner lot of my amygdala when it comes to big things that I actually should not mess up. Surely this is a protection mechanism, but that is not worth unpacking at this point. 

In all other facets of my life my brain spirals, but not when it is something important that I proclaim to myself I will die without. When I was unable to find a job in Amsterdam for months, I had sharp moments of serious fear that I would have to go live with my parents or something. I feared that I would mentally enter a deep dark abyss where no light can possibly penetrate. I felt compelled to move for unexplainable reasons, so, it is weird that the fear of falling short felt so severe. 

Although this can be considered questionable or volatile behavior, I do appreciate that I stop at almost nothing to chase my curiosities. Chasing my curiosities might even make my short list of life values.

It goes as follows: if I am unhappy or bored, I will search for avenues to nourish my creativity or hobbies that I am not currently feeding enough. I am still working on the part where I remove all judgement I always so generously bestow upon myself. In an attempt to channel a judgement-free headspace, I will document my recent interests. For example, I am reading a lot lately about peoples’ traumatic stories, love in all forms, and American immigrant stories. I am reading articles that examine a vast range of perspectives on the human experience. I am listening to podcasts that debate whether we have free will. The more esoteric the better.

I understand that it is unlikely that I will develop any of these interests into, say, a career. But that is not the point. We are supposed to learn about things and use our brain throughout our lives, that is why we have one. The point is to live, not necessarily to monetize. That’s why it just feels so simple and obvious that if I feel the initial tinge of boredom knocking on my cerebral door, it’s my duty to lean into all these curiosities to feel fulfilled again. 

Hence my writing. Writing flexes a different muscle than my job or, simply put – existing. I fear that without writing, my creative brain will become duller overtime due to inactivity; enabling my writing pangs reignites my creative neurotransmitters, while conveniently also documenting my life. Which, as an emotionally complex person, reading my thoughts back feels so cathartic. Extra points if I can move to Amsterdam and then also get to write about it. 

Whether it is moving countries, researching a new topic, or consuming content about something niche, you never know where it could lead and meanwhile it creates a vibrant life. I want to be sparkly and feel that I am getting smarter everyday. I want to expand my brain and feel as though I’m allotting myself the freedom to explore the bounds of life. I want to create a life I love. The journey of discovering your purpose and what you enjoy is bolstered by the courage to pursue your interests, without requiring a reason to pursue it. Simply that – curiosity.